A Waiting Pyre
by Griffinesque
Summary: Troublesome events cause Merlin  to reveal a small portion of his secret life to Gaius and Arthur.   A lying, but  extremely worried  Merlin, a troubled Arthur, a watchful cat, and an amused Gwaine.  Reveal fic Arthur/Gwen Merlin/Freya   Gwaine/OC
1. Prologue

**Author's note: This is little bit of an AU. Mostly spoilers for season three but there won't be a lot of that. Might have spoilers for season four but there won't be a lot of those either. Freya didn't die during the Lady of the Lake episode and they hadn't needed to leave Camelot. **

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><p><strong>Fortune had smiled upon Merlin and Freya. The search for Freya had been called off. Merlin found an old house on the edge of Camelot for Freya and him to live in. Things had been going perfectly but things can never stay perfect for long in Camelot. Buried secrets are unburied and danger lurks behind every closed door.<strong>

**Trust is hard to give when accusations of sorcery are being thrown about. Those with magic should have felt more welcomed once Arthur Pendragon had become King of Camelot.**

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><p><strong>Prologue:<strong>

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><p>Linnet, the midwife, had once told me that it would be far kinder to let my newborn daughter die in the woods than to let her later burn on the pyre. I had stood aghast at that statement as I listened to her rant and rave about the dangers of magic. Once she was done ranting, I had lied through my teeth as I gently pushed her out the door of my small home, "I suppose that it is a good thing that my daughter has not any relatives that possess even the smallest amount of magic!"<p>

My darling Freya had heard everything that had fallen from that foul woman's mouth. She held our daughter close as tears had begun to trickle down her face.

"Oh, Freya," I had sympathetically murmured as I walked towards her pale figure.

"Merlin, what are we going to do," she softly cried out.

"I'm not really sure about what we should do," I had admitted to her.

"Once I gain my strength back, we can leave this foul city."

"Suspicions would be aroused if we did that," I reminded her.

We had talked about leaving Camelot months before our daughter had been born. Any way, it was in the middle of winter. Who in their right mind would leave in the middle of winter? There were some days when I had wondered how I made it to and from the castle during the winter time.

"We need to leave, Merlin! I won't have our daughter burning on a pyre," she frantically told me.

"I won't have it either," I responded hotly to the unintended poke at my honor, "but if we leave now, we could all see ourselves on the pyre, sentenced to death!"

"I know," Freya weakly moaned.

"Can I hold her," I gently asked my wife.

Freya handed over the baby as she weakly told me, "I feel so tired."

"I heard that is only to be expected," I had told her, "Rest a little. You deserve it."

She had smiled at me before she slowly obeyed.

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><p><strong>Author's note: Chapters will quickly become more exciting and longer. This piece was supposed to be part of Chapter One but it didn't seem to fit in. Reviews are welcome. I'd like to know what you think even if you hated it. I don't have a beta but I do proof read and edit what I put up here. The goal is to improve. :) <strong>

**Author's notes will never be as large as the one on top. You'll have more story than author's note in the upcoming chapter. Any attention, (story alert, author alert, review, favorite), is welcome. They all make my day. **


	2. Chapter One: Polemic

**Author's note: Thanks every one! All that attention was seriously appreciated. Hopefully this chapter does not disappoint anyone. :) **

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><p><strong>Polemic: <strong>

**1. **A controversial argument, as one against some opinion, doctrine, etc.

2. A person who argues in opposition to another; controversialist.

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><p><strong>Chapter One: Polemic<strong>

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><p>"<em>Mer<em>lin," Gaius practically growled at him, "Why couldn't you let her be?"

"It could have been _me _in that cage," Merlin tried to reasonably reply, "Any way, I couldn't leave her in that cage! After that… well, I had fallen for her. How can one leave what they love?"

"You can still be the one in that cage, Merlin," Gaius scolded Merlin, "Arthur has not yet changed any laws against magic! He does not even seem inclined to change any laws against those that practice magic!"

"I know, I know, "Merlin placating replied.

"You should have never became…involved with her," Gaius sputtered indignantly.

"If marrying Freya was a mistake than it is a mistake that I do not regret," he softly yet coldly continued, "I loathe imagining what my life would have been like if I had never became romantically involved with her."

Gaius sighed before he disappointedly told him, "There once was a time when you wouldn't have dreamed of lying to me."

"Love makes a man act crazy," Merlin truthfully replied, "but I've just told you the truth. I know that it does not count for much but…"

"What happened to _that girl_," Gaius disdainfully asked Merlin.

"She was murdered during Morgana's bloody reign of terror."

"Did it happen when Morgana was trying to convince the knights of Camelot to vow their allegiance to her?"

"That's what Robert, my neighbor, had told me."

"And you are certain that this girl is your daughter," Gaius verbally prodded him.

"Beyond certain," Merlin ruefully told him, "apparently, Freya had heard that the guards were rounding all the women and children up. She hid our little Irena before the guards had stormed our little home."

"Brave woman," Gaius reluctantly commented, "The neighbors had taken care of little Irena?"

"They did," Merlin painfully confirmed, "All in all, I was quite a lucky man. Some of the men lost their whole family."

"Is this your daughter," Gaius asked him as he waved his hand towards the small girl that was currently trying to hide behind Merlin.

"This is her," Merlin fondly told him.

"She looks like you," Gaius absentmindedly told him.

"She looks like more like Freya, in my opinion."

"There are still a lot of your features apparent on your daughter's face," Gaius then decided to ask him, "did you consider lying about the girl being a changeling?"

"I did," Merlin admitted, "I figured that Arthur might fall for that lie but I know that you wouldn't."

"Smart boy," Gaius sarcastically replied, "Even Arthur wouldn't fall for that lie!"

"You would be surprised about how many outlandish lies Arthur has accepted," Merlin dryly told him.

"He would not accept this lie," Gaius adamantly told him, "Stick to the closest version of the truth when you introduce young Irena to him."

"All right," Merlin conceded.

"Tell him that a few years ago you married the love of your life and that unfortunately, she was murdered during Morgana's reign of terror. Tell him that young Irena is your daughter," Gaius ordered, "Arthur would believe that. He might ask you how you hid the fact that you were married. "

"He might."

"In fact, I'm curious about how you hid this whole separate life from me," Gaius told him.

"Did you suspect anything," Merlin reluctantly asked him when his curiosity got the better of him.

"I did. For some reason I thought that you were spending a good portion of your night in the tavern."

Merlin chuckled, "Most days I did feel like I had spent too much of my time in the tavern."

"How did you hide this whole other life from me," Gaius asked him.

"I'm not certain," Merlin admitted to him, "Freya was so understanding about the whole thing. She never complained to me about how I slipped so easily in and out of her life."

"She sounds like a good woman."

"She completed me," Merlin said with a faint grin on his face.

"It's been a few years since Morgana reigned. How did you take care of little Irena?"

"I had been paying a friend to watch her but with all the trouble that has been happening lately I felt that it would be better if I kept Irena close by."

"What trouble," Gaius quickly asked Merlin.

"Children, all under the age of ten, are being kidnapped. A few of the parents do not seem to care but most of them are panicking. I am panicking," Merlin admitted, "I almost have panic attacks every time I think of Irena not being an arm's length away from me."

"You feel that she would be safer with you?"

"I do," Merlin told him, "I truly do believe that."

"I have to amend my thinking then," Gaius continued, "it appears that you do have a correctly functioning brain."

"Nice to know that I'm not overreacting," Merlin replied with a rueful chuckle.

"I assume that you still know where I keep that extra pallet," Gaius questioned Merlin.

"I do."

"Irena can use it tonight. You can put the pallet in your room," Gaius idely informed him.

"Thank you," Merlin gratefully replied.

Merlin gently tugged Irena over to the closet that held the pallet. Once the pallet was safely in under one arm, Irena and he headed up to his room.

"Merlin," Gaius called after them, "do you know if Gwaine has been up to anything?"

"I just always assume that he has a plan that would cause a little ruckus here and there," Merlin admitted, "even then, I do not know what he has been up to."

"He seems to be falling down with some mental illness but I feel that it is too soon to report my findings to King Arthur. It could just be the ale doing the talking," Gaius reported with some concern visible in his voice.

"I bet that it is just the ale. There is no way that Gwaine could have cracked under the pressure that comes with being a knight of Camelot," Merlin confidently replied.

"Would you still keep an eye on him?"

"I will," Merlin reluctantly replied, "we can't have a cracked knight running around Camelot."

"Thank you, Merlin," Gaius strictly told him, "See if you can get Gwaine to talk to you about his problem."

"What particularly is his problem," Merlin wondered aloud.

"Something about a beautiful woman, a cat, and little dancing green men laughing at him," Gaius volunteered, "He has even gained a house pet."

"A dog?"

"No, a cat," Gaius commented.

"Maybe Arthur could…_ ban _Gwaine from drinking?"

"That man wouldn't stand for it," he replied.

"Uh… how about Arthur limits how much ale Gwaine can drink?"

"If Arthur did that, he would have to hire a babysitter for Gwaine,"Gaius continued, "Arthur would not wish to do that."

"Your right," Merlin said with a sigh as he looked down at his shy daughter, "We will think of some way to help Gwaine. Hopefully, it is just the ale talking."

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><p><strong>Author's note: I might have missed a small grammar mistake but I think that I caught them all. Story alertfavorite/author alert/reviews are seriously appreciated. It makes my day to know that people appreciate/enjoy/read what I write. Was the chapter good? Was something confusing in the chapter? I write to gain practice because practice is the only way that I can improve. Next chapter, if everything goes according to plan, will be twice as long.**


	3. Chapter Two: Collogue

**Author's note: Thanks everyone! :D All the attention is appreciated! This word of the day was too perfect for me to pass up. **

**Collogue:**

**To confer secretly.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: Collogue<strong>

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><p>The nightmare never changed. Every night, Merlin saw Freya being dragged out of their humble home. Morgana would always speak a few words that sentenced his frightened wife to death, and then he was forced to watch her be beheaded.<p>

In the beginning, he had tried to prevent Freya from being murdered but always in the nightmare, no one could hear or see him. He was a ghostly witness to her murder.

It hurt him to watch her look so frightened. It killed his heart to see Morgana, a woman that had once been his dear friend, order the murder of Freya. Merlin hated the nightmare. The nightmare constantly unearthed the guilt that he constantly felt. He should have been there to protect Freya and Irena but he had chosen to protect Arthur during that dark time.

Ever since Merlin met Freya, his destiny had become his personal thorn. In the beginning, he had been able to ignore the slight pricking. Now, after Freya's murder, he was tempted to pull the thorn out. If Arthur was murdered Merlin would no longer have a destiny to be faithful to.

Now Merlin did not constantly think of all the _accidents _that could befall Arthur but he often considered how life would be easier for Irena and him if Arthur was dead and yet he refused to let some sorcerer murder Arthur.

Merlin had once tried to imagine his life without Arthur in it. It was a life that was somewhat more peaceful without the _most gracious presence of _Arthur. Merlin had also found that without Arthur in his life, he had more time to spend with Irena. Unfortunately, he found that he _actually missed the prat _and so a decision had been made. Arthur would live to create Albion.

There was a slight problem. Uther was utterly mad after the imprisonment that Morgana had forced upon him and so Arthur was made king. So far no changes were made to any laws that regarded those that used magic and Merlin was growing tired of waiting for the change to come.

Merlin was willing to wait a little longer. He wanted to believe that Arthur wouldn't become like Uther but he's hope was quickly fading.

"Daddy," Irena quietly whispered as she gently shook his arm.

He turned his head towards her. She looked frightened.

"What's wrong, Irena," Merlin carefully asked her.

Merlin tried to hide how tired he felt. Irena, even though she was just three years old, had a habit of mothering him.

"You were just sitting there so quietly, Daddy," Irena quietly continued, "you were glaring at that wall. Is everything all right, Daddy?"

"Everything is fine," Merlin lied.

"Did a nightmare wake you up?"

Merlin softly smiled at her.

"A nightmare did wake me up but I've almost forgotten all about it," he reassured her.

He loathed the idea of Irena worrying about him. She was his to protect. It was not her responsibility to worry about him.

"Okay, Daddy," Irena confidently replied as she settled back into the pallet, " When do you need to go to work, Daddy?"

That question got his attention.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to be a little early," He contemplatively muttered under his breath as he watched the light trickle through the open window.

"Daddy?"

"You feeling hungry," he quickly asked her.

"Kind of," she replied.

"I'll take you down to the kitchens and we will see if I can find us some leftovers to eat."

"Okay, Daddy but don't you feel a little tired," she asked him with concern clear in her voice.

"I do feel a little tired," Merlin admitted to her.

"Then why don't you go back to bed?"

"I'll have to go to work soon enough," Merlin told her, " I would just like to make sure that you got enough to eat before I take you to work with me."

"I get to come with you to work," Irena repeated with her voice filled with wonder.

"You do," Merlin said as his eyes watched her with concern. Was this a normal way for a child to behave? Was the life that he lived negatively affecting his daughter? Was he a bad parent?

He was doing the best that he could for Irena. He constantly tried to balance caring for Arthur with taking care of Irena. With Freya dead, it became even harder for Merlin to keep the balance and Merlin thought that it might be easier to take care of Irena if Gaius and Arthur knew about her.

Merlin then quickly decided that he would kill Arthur without a moment of hesitation if Arthur's death promised a happier life for his daughter. He would joyfully forget that he'd miss Arthur once he was murdered. He'd eagerly forgot about what would never be if Arthur died. Irena was of far greater worth than Arthur, Merlin quickly decided.

"Daddy?"

"Irena," Merlin softly replied.

"I would love to come to work with you," she happily but quietly replied.

Merlin absentmindedly nodded before he asked her, "Are you happy, Irena?"

"What do you mean, Daddy," she carefully asked him.

"Are you...," he swallowed nervously before he continued, "happy with the way that we live?"

"Well, I don't know, Daddy," Irena frankly told him, "we've just changed that. Things are going to be different now."

"Things are going to be different now," he slowly agreed.

"It's too early to say if I am happy," she quietly confided.

"Were you happy before?"

"Before what," Irena asked him with her eyes wide.

"Before we spent the night here," he hesitantly clarified for her.

"No," she bluntly told him.

Merlin absentmindedly nodded, " Let's go find some food."

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><p><strong>Author's note: I'm going to guess that not many are happy with this chapter. No promises will be made about Merlin's state of mind and no promises will be made about what actions he will commit. I'm not saying that he'll commit murder but I'm not saying that he won't. That particular chapter had not been written yet. ;) I truly believe that the next chapter will be longer. Merlin is a bot OCC but from my experience, young children have the ability to drive a soul up the wall. One constantly finds themself worrying about the safety of the child. <strong>

**This chapter was meant to be longer but that just did not happen. :P Many apologies for the Semi Dark!Merlin and the not 2,000 word chapter!**

**I really would love to know what you think about this chapter! Even if you hate it please tell me what you hated about it! I'd appreciate it. I think I caught all the grammar mistakes but something could have slipped by me.**

**Anybody feeling confused by the chapter?**

**Please review? I'll try my best to remember to reply!**


	4. Chapter Three: Umbrage

**Author's note: Hello! =D **

**I have been suffering from writer's block. **

**Apologies for the long wait.**

**All of the reviews were highly appreciated.**

**We skip an hour or two in this chapter.**

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><p><strong>Umbrage<strong>**: offense; resentment**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three: Umbrage<strong>

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><p>"You have a daughter,"Arthur incredulously asked him.<p>

"Are you feeling particularly slow today? I just told you that Irena is my daughter," Merlin replied.

"And _your daughter _is three years old, _Mer_lin?"

For a moment, Merlin ignored Arthur.

"Irena," he softly asked her, "Are you three years old?"

Irena nervously looked up at Arthur before holding three fingers up.

"She is three years old," Merlin mockingly confirmed to Arthur before he softly patted her back.

"I _know _that, _Merlin_! You have already _divulged _that piece of information," Arthur angrily growled.

"Thus I had mockingly replied," Merlin retorted as he looked down at Irena with concern.

Irena was tightly clutching his long leg and her eyes were wide with fright.

"It's fine, Irena," He softly murmured to her.

She stared at Arthur with eyes filled with terror.

"Will you please calm down, Arthur? You're scaring her," Merlin complained.

"I'm not the only one yelling," Arthur hissed in anger.

Merlin blinked in astonishment before absentmindedly replying, "Fair enough."

"Why didn't you tell me that you have a daughter," Arthur tried to quietly complain.

"But I did tell you," Merlin innocently told him.

"Why didn't you tell me _three years ago_," Arthur corrected, "in fact, were you even married to her mother?"

"We…were married," Merlin reluctantly confided.

"Another secret that you kept from me," Arthur muttered.

"Listen Arthur," Merlin ordered, "I have several good reasons that explain why I haven't told you anything."

"Are you implying that there is more that I don't know about you? I thought that you trusted me!"

"I do- but…" Merlin trailed off.

"But what," Arthur hissed at him.

"I…well…"

"You didn't trust me!"

"I didn't," Merlin reluctantly agreed.

"You actually agree with me," Arthur incredulously declared.

"I didn't trust anyone," Merlin wryly commented.

"Enough, Merlin," Arthur quietly told him, "enough. I need you to clean my room, muck the stables out, and repair my armor."

Merlin resignedly nodded.

"Is Irena going to be around often," Arthur inquired.

"She will be," Merlin admitted to him.

Arthur's gaze softened as he looked down at the small girl.

"Irena, I apologize for… my anger? Your Father can attest to the fact that I'm practically a prat early in the morning."

Irena gaped at him before reluctantly nodding.

"One day, perhaps you will spare me a kind word," Arthur almost bitterly joked.

Again, Irena just nodded.

After a soft chuckle, Arthur spun around and left the room.

"Sorry Irena. I had no idea that he'd be up so early,"Merlin apologetically told her.

"It's okay, Daddy."

"Irena, will you help me pick the dirty clothes up," Merlin quietly asked her.

"I will."

"Thank you, Irena."

Irena smiled at him as she carefully picked a pile of dirty clothes up.

Merlin absentmindedly straightened up the room as he thought about Arthur's reaction.

"I hadn't thought that he'd react so badly," Merlin muttered under his breath.

"What, Daddy," Irena innocently asked him.

"Nothing of much importance," Merlin confidently told her.

"Are you thinking about, _Ar_thur," Irena seriously asked him.

"Not really," Merlin told her with a tiny grin, "I'm just wishing that he'd reacted better."

"Me too," Irena said with a giggle.

It took ten minutes for the room to be cleaned. As they cleaned, silence reigned. Merlin had an adequate amount of time to remember Arthur's reaction to Irena. He also had enough time to remember ever mocking word that had fallen from his own mouth.

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><p><strong>Author's note: What do you think? I tried a new writing style with this chapter. Apologies for the short chapter. I had a lot of trouble as I tried extending it.<strong>

**Reviews are appreciated. Does anyone want to volunteer to beta this fanfic for me? The help would be much appreciated. I think that a few grammar mistakes slipped past my careful eye. ;) I do edit but I'm ot perfect.**

**Here is an... incentive to review. ;)**

**We all have a favorite Merlin character, right? Well, as you leave a comment of some kind, don't forget to mention your favorite character from Merlin. That character will make a major appearance in the next chapter. The only rule is that you can't mention your favorite dead character from Merlin unless that character is Lancelot or Ygraine. I have half the mind to ignore Lancelot's death.**

**You also get to mention the exact word length that you want for the next chapter. No higher than 6,000.**

**Next chapter will hopefully be longer. :)**


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